04 August 2008

Bored scribblings

I was just cleaning up my little officeoid (it's not a full office--it only has 3.2 walls), and I came across a few "notes" I had taken during two different meetings. The first set of notes was torn off of a steno-pad. I think it's from something I sat in on up at my client site:
--Bees can kill me, but they haven't yet

--Jenn and I think we inherited a cooking gene

--Jazz, rock 'n' roll

--Let's talk about what we think we're going to talk about talking about, but never actually talk about it.

The second set of notes is from a meeting at my office that some of our clients were invited to. Chuck "Malapropism" Dogberry of the clients bought pizza to try and seem like a cool guy, and the thing went on for about four hours. Around hour three I drafted a will onto one of the pizza napkins in case I should die of boredom or take my own life:
Last Will and Testament
To whom it may concern:
If you are reading this, I have been found dead with my eyes burned out by a laser pointer and the pen attached to that laser pointer jammed deep, deep into my jugular.
'Twas CAP [the client program I support] that brought me here, and 'twas CAP that drove me to this end.
To my brother The Shark I bequeath my music collection and my DVDs, except Matt can have "Firefly." Everything else I leave to Matt Sztuk and Michele, who will play Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who gets what.
To Jamie [my supervisor at the time] I leave a kick in the shins.
[signature]
Jared Gillins
28 FEB 2008

These are some of the most productive meetings I've attended with my clients.

5 comments:

Christina said...

What? I get nothing? Not even your collection of toenail clippings? Wait. Ew. Could you bequeath me your cooking gene, maybe? That could be handy.

R.I.P.

Warren said...

Could I have your purple toothbrush for old times sake? And could I have the Pirate book?

amanda said...

I call dibs on the books, please! (All except for the Pirate book, of course.)

Also, I know a good notary if you're interested in making this legit.

The Shark said...

Nice. I'm the only person I know on your will.

I would also like to have any graphic novels you own. I think "Batman: The Long Halloween" is the only one. Do you still have those Robin comic books?

The Tooth Fairy said...

I am still coming for your teeth...